Travel Tales

This week's scenic stop on The Airplane Ride That Is My Life finds me in Colorado.
Now believe me, I've heard ALL the horror stories about how the business travel life can get to you after a time, and it certainly is taxing emotionally (you've seen my girls and hub...you know.) But mostly I make the best of it, and enjoy some of the "me" time while I have it. I also marvel at the sheer adultness of making my own travel arrangements and reserving transportation, and heck, finding food for myself in strange cities...I still get a kick out of that! Sad, yes. But we tell it like it is here chez moi.

BUT, I am finding out that it's not really the typical bothers of business travel that get under my skin or make me feel haggard as a Road (Air?) Warrior. Middle seats and cramped spaces? Hey, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can high tail it home. Delayed flights? Knitting time. One client dinner after another? Um. Free food. I fail to see the issue.

But these things....these things are the things that sometimes make me want to pack it all in and go stack books at my local library instead of peddling computer widgets:

• Have you ever tried to find a non-dairy, low sugar, meat-free, low calorie, caffeine free breakfast option at a regional airport at 5:20am before your flight boards? Yeah. Exactly.
• Is it just me, or do 19 people on an airport shuttle or train wearing the same sports jacket and slacks, or pants suit and pointy shoes ensemble in 1 of 3 colors just make you want to wretch and catch a cab to a pub instead of getting in your rental and heading to a meeting (where inevitably you'll meet the same army of suited wonders in the lobby/office/conference room of your destination)?
• Do cab drivers really, really care where you're from? Seriously.
• I'm guessing that the proprietors of certain modern hotels feel that if they make you stay tethered to the office desk by making the internet access "wired" (please use the blue or red cord you'll find clothespinned to the dry cleaning bag in your closet), then you'll actually be more productive and work more, and consequently marvel at what a great service they provide for the business traveler. As opposed to say....I dunno...wireless surfing on knitting sites from your bed while eating the fried and salted selection from the evening's In Room Dining menu, and accomplishing exactly zippo?? Hmmm?
• Don't eat "fresh" fish in airports. Don't eat fish of any kind if you can help it. Just don't do it. Moving on!
• I'm finding that I'd really rather that the First Officer NOT go into any great technical detail about the mechanical error that's causing our delay, but is also being fixed (patched up) very quickly, just in time for us to take off (or deplane, which is more often the case).
• I think that I'm highly tolerant, but for some reason, there are time when someone asks me "They let you bring those knitting needles on the plane??!!" that I just want to stare back at them blankly and say, "Clearly."

Whether you travel a lot or a little, I'm guessing you have your own set of pet peeves that might not make any sense to anyone else. And you know what? That's ok. You can tell mama all about it, cuz trust me darlings...I feel ya. SMOOCHES!